How to acheive 1000+ followers

So I was over on Niceties and Alice had decided to share a little incite on how to become an elite blogger.

1. Have an Etsy shop.
2. Have a super-cute face, and preferably dimples. If they don’t come naturally, there’s a stud for that.
3. Get some tattoos. See FYT for inspiration.
4. Get a cat or a dog. Bonus points for having several of either.
5. Live with your boyfriend. Better yet, get married before graduation.
6. Possess a large collection of cameras, and ensure you hold one in each hand at all times. Bonus follower-points for using your cameras to take photos of your other cameras. (Those without the ability to collect cameras can source all images from WHI, at your own peril)
7. Be really, really organised. In your super cute little house, especially. And make sure to take a lot of photos demonstrating you organisational skills every time you clean up.
8. Those with incredible “thinking-ahead” skills, pre-arrange to be named Kaelah upon birth. Alternative two-syllable first names are acceptable, though not favoured.
9. Allow your week to revolve around weekends, where you have 48 hours of thrifting opportunity (here we call it ‘op-shopping’, but let’s face it, no one in blogging-world is very interested in what words “arsy arsy little Alice” uses). Don’t forget your cameras!
10. Never ever ever post anything that could even remotely offend a fellow blogger.

Pretty sure it was the funniest thing I read all weekend.  Thanks Alice, I hope that one day I can use your wisdom to go from 6 followers all the way to 1000!